leloupnoir | (no subject)

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gregory house

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Akeem had given Greg the name of a pub right down his street. He had every intention of getting absolutely pissed tonight, and the shorter the trip back home the better. He'd secured a booth at the back of the pub, and a bottle of whisky, and he was already working on his first glass when Greg arrived.

Akeem poured some whisky into the second glass and pushed it on Greg's side of the table.

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"Aren't I supposed to be the bad influence?" House said dryly, and slid into the seat, leaning his cane against an empty chair.

"Pippa might be pregnant," Akeem answered, raised his glass to that, and knocked back what was left in it.

House arched an eyebrow. "Congratulations?" he offered unconvincingly, and took a drink.

"And I've been a werewolf for eight years now," Akeem added after pouring himself another drink, making sure that Greg was not drinking as he said it. He wouldn't want him to choke on the whisky.

House put his glass down.

"Werewolf," he repeated flatly.

"Uh-huh," Akeem confirmed. "I was bit." He didn't say more than that, letting Greg process instead of bombarding him with information.

"Sure," said House. "Anything else I should know about? We've got fairies. Vampires. Werewolves. Are there aliens? Bigfoot?"

"I wouldn't know about Bigfoot, or the Yeti," Akeem answered. He was not saying anything about aliens, however.

"So you're a werewolf," House said, and sighed, as if giving up on the world. "Fine, good, of course you are."

"Well," Akeem stated. "That's a lot fewer questions than I usually get."

Not that he made a habit of telling unsuspecting people about him - and not that he was complaining, at all, on the contrary.

"Well it's kind of hard to know where to start," House said. "This is totally fucked up."

"I'm English, I think I ought to handle the understatements," Akeem replied wryly, and topped up Greg's glass.

"We'll come back to the werewolf thing," said House matter-of-factly. "First, back to Pippa and how she might be pregnant. What do you mean, might? You do realize that medical science has advanced beyond guessing for this kind of thing?"

"It's a bit early still," Akeem replied, staring morosely into his drink. And they were waiting for the STD - no, STI, as they said these days - results.

"If it's late enough for her to miss a period, it's late enough for an over the counter pregnancy test to tell you something," said House reasonably. "And if it's not that late, then you're panicking over nothing."

"But for the sake of argument, let's say she is. "Are you freaking out for the usual reasons, or something else?"

"I'm - 'freaking out' - for a lot of different reasons," Akeem answered. "Including the usual ones, I suppose."

"So can werewolves and fae breed, or are you afraid she'll give birth to like a puppy with wings or something," House said bluntly, and knocked back the rest of what Akeem had poured for him.

"I'm rather hoping we won't get to find out," Akeem stated honestly. That was to say, he had no idea, and neither had Pippa. He'd left a voicemail for Clia, the wolf who had accidentally infected him, but he hadn't gone into details in the message, and she hadn't got back to him yet.

House wondered if he should tell Akeem how Pippa had come onto him the night of the Christmas party. He found that he liked her less after she was such a bitch to him, but then, she was also clearly smashed.

"I did genetic tests on Fin," House said. "It's practically gibberish."

"I don't much like hospitals myself," Akeem confirmed, frowning. If they ran tests on him, they would probably find that he was anemic, or something just as off the mark. And of course, the results would wildly vary depending on the phase of the moon, and how recently he had shifted. "Could you... I don't know, maybe Faes have Fae doctors. But if they don't, would you handle her tests?"

"I'm not an ob gyn," House said. And then sighed. "But... if you need help, I'll give it." He hated delivering babies, though. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

"Thank you," Akeem told him genuinely, and poured them both more whisky. That was one thing off his chest, although he would still need to clear it with Pippa.

"She's not my biggest fan at the moment probably," House said, and took a drink. "Just so you know. She thinks I called her a whore." Pause. "I didn't."

Akeem paused, and then said, "I probably don't want to know, do I. I'll - I'll talk to her. They might have doctors of their own." Or some sort of magical way to detect pregnancy, for all he knew.

"Well I don't know a damn thing about fairies," House said.

"Besides," he added helpfully, "maybe she's not pregnant."